Monday, September 9, 2013

The Myth of Male Stupidity & How it creates Self-fulfilling Prophecies

A Post by Barbie on buying into stereotypes:

We’ve all been privy to a scenario like this one:
Girl (we’ll call her Fiona) is busy showering, dressing, primping in front of the bathroom mirror. It’s almost time for her date to pick her up. She swathes on the rose-colored lipstick, the final, perfect touch for her heavy date, She blots, checks the mirror one more time. Perfecion.
Phone rings. It’s…let’s call him “Zeke.”  He tells Fiona sorry, change of plans—he’s gonna go watch the football game with his buddy instead of thei dinner and movie.
As Fiona sits on the bed and cries softly, Fiona’s mom sidles up to her, puts her arm around her shoulder and squeezes tight. “Well, he’s just a man,” she says, “They’re stupid.”

Now, call me crazy, but if Ken were to do things like this (he rarely does), I would not be having that reaction.  Why? Because no matter what society has let them think or get away with under this weird blanket we females have given them as an excuse for the bad behavior, the truth is, men aren’t stupid. They shouldn’t be give free-reign to behave as though they are. 

Because ladies, the more we talk about our men as if they are apes who simply can’t fathom why they shouldn’t blow off dates with girlfriends rather than holding them responsible for having standards for how they treat and behave around and regarding women, the more we’re telling them that yes, they’re allowed to play stupid and blow us off. We're telling them not to respect our time or relationships with us.

Every time you let your significant other “off the hook” using a “boys will be boys” sort of reasoning instead of having a conversation with him about why he’s “just being a man” instead of being responsible to you , you’re encouraging him to think of himself as just that “stupid man” who will continue to blow-off plans, say unacceptable, hurtful things to you, etc. In fact, you’ve given him free-reign to do it.

Until you and your significant other open a dialogue about why certain behaviors aren’t acceptable within your relationship and you continue play his, “I’m just a stupid male” games, he’s going to be a self-fulfilling prophecy. 

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