A Post by Barbie on buying into
stereotypes:
We’ve all been privy to a scenario like this
one:
Girl
(we’ll call her Fiona) is busy showering, dressing, primping in front of the
bathroom mirror. It’s almost time for her date to pick her up. She swathes on
the rose-colored lipstick, the final, perfect touch for her heavy date, She
blots, checks the mirror one more time. Perfecion.
Phone
rings. It’s…let’s call him “Zeke.” He
tells Fiona sorry, change of plans—he’s gonna go watch the football game with
his buddy instead of thei dinner and movie.
As
Fiona sits on the bed and cries softly, Fiona’s mom sidles up to her, puts her
arm around her shoulder and squeezes tight. “Well, he’s just a man,” she says,
“They’re stupid.”
Now, call me crazy, but if Ken were to do
things like this (he rarely does), I would not
be having that reaction. Why? Because no
matter what society has let them think or get away with under this weird
blanket we females have given them as an excuse for the bad behavior, the truth
is, men aren’t stupid. They shouldn’t be give free-reign to behave as though they are.
Because ladies, the more we talk about our
men as if they are apes who simply can’t fathom why they shouldn’t blow off dates with girlfriends rather than holding them responsible for having
standards for how they treat and behave around and regarding women, the more
we’re telling them that yes, they’re allowed to play stupid and blow us off. We're telling them not to respect our time or relationships with us.
Every time you let your significant other
“off the hook” using a “boys will be boys” sort of reasoning instead of having
a conversation with him about why he’s “just being a man” instead of being
responsible to you , you’re encouraging him to think of himself as just that
“stupid man” who will continue to blow-off plans, say unacceptable, hurtful
things to you, etc. In fact, you’ve given him free-reign to do it.
Until you and your significant other open a
dialogue about why certain behaviors aren’t acceptable within your relationship and you continue play his, “I’m just a stupid male” games, he’s going
to be a self-fulfilling prophecy.
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